I have grown quite fond of Hannah. I find her to be very relatable. Just like Hannah, I’ve know what it is like to weep bitterly before God. I ‘ve known what it is like to feel the pain of rejection and mockery. Actually, I know what it is like to surrender my children to the Lord. I didn’t have to physically send my child to live elsewhere, but there was a day when I had to completely hand my son to the Lord and ask for His will to be done no matter what the consequences.
When my son Steven was in college, he had already spend 4 summers as a missionary in a Christian camp in the impoverished area of southeast Ohio. These summers were rugged and physically demanding. The camp itself is hundreds of acres in the foothills of Appalachia making the simple walk to the cafeteria for meals a true workout. My son realized God had called him into a camp ministry and was thriving in both his Spiritual life and physical health.
Then I got a phone call from him telling me that he was having trouble walking. At college one walks everywhere – to class, to meals, to the library. But Steven was losing the muscle control in his right leg and would actually fall down walking to classes. His leg would jerk uncontrollably when sitting. He said, “Mom, if I can’t walk across campus, how can I function at the campground this summer?”
Needless to say, our Doctor sent Steven to a neurologist who was puzzled. His first round of testing was to rule out such issues a MS, brain tumor and all those other scary things. I had been praying to God during this time, but it wasn’t the heart wrenching, soul pouring kind of praying. Then God made it clear in my heart that He was waiting for me to pour everything out to Him. As so I did. I spend day after day on my front porch step praying scriptures and claiming healing for my son. I claimed God’s calling on his life for camp ministry and called on God to heal him for that purpose. Then God questioned whether or not I truly trusted Him to do what was best for my son. That was the hard part. I felt I knew what was best for my son. I was his mother. But God patiently led me to surrender Steven to Him and to praise Him even if Steven were in a wheelchair the rest of his life. My loving Heavenly Father even asked me if I could praise Him if He took my son home to live with Him. That was gut-wrenching. But after a time of bitter weeping I said yes. Then the peace came. I honestly had no idea what my son’s medical prognosis was going to be, I just knew it was going to be for the best and that God would be glorified. And there was calm in the middle of my storm.
Steven was still away at college at this time and if you have sons, you know they are not the best as keeping Mom updated. So after I hadn’t heard from him in over a week, I called to asked about his walking ability. He nonchalantly reported that he hadn’t even thought about it in several days and he was walking normally. Wow. You can imagine the praise dance I did when I hung up the phone.
I hope this glimpse into one of my personal times of struggle is an encouragement to you. Like Hannah, you may be dealing with a great pain that life has brought you. Like me, you may be praying for your children and pouring out your heart to God. If that is the case, I can personally assure you that the God of Angel Armies is listening to you and is fighting for you. Trust Him to do what is best.
…call on me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you will honor me.
Psalm 50:15
Journaling Prompts 1. What do you need to surrender to God? If you surrendered it to Him, do you believe it would make a difference? Why or why not?
2. Read Matthew 26:39. What did Jesus experience in terms of surrendering to God? What was the last phrase He said in that verse. What does that phrase mean to you?
3. Write a prayer to God. Tell Him what is on your heart.
When my son Steven was in college, he had already spend 4 summers as a missionary in a Christian camp in the impoverished area of southeast Ohio. These summers were rugged and physically demanding. The camp itself is hundreds of acres in the foothills of Appalachia making the simple walk to the cafeteria for meals a true workout. My son realized God had called him into a camp ministry and was thriving in both his Spiritual life and physical health.
Then I got a phone call from him telling me that he was having trouble walking. At college one walks everywhere – to class, to meals, to the library. But Steven was losing the muscle control in his right leg and would actually fall down walking to classes. His leg would jerk uncontrollably when sitting. He said, “Mom, if I can’t walk across campus, how can I function at the campground this summer?”
Needless to say, our Doctor sent Steven to a neurologist who was puzzled. His first round of testing was to rule out such issues a MS, brain tumor and all those other scary things. I had been praying to God during this time, but it wasn’t the heart wrenching, soul pouring kind of praying. Then God made it clear in my heart that He was waiting for me to pour everything out to Him. As so I did. I spend day after day on my front porch step praying scriptures and claiming healing for my son. I claimed God’s calling on his life for camp ministry and called on God to heal him for that purpose. Then God questioned whether or not I truly trusted Him to do what was best for my son. That was the hard part. I felt I knew what was best for my son. I was his mother. But God patiently led me to surrender Steven to Him and to praise Him even if Steven were in a wheelchair the rest of his life. My loving Heavenly Father even asked me if I could praise Him if He took my son home to live with Him. That was gut-wrenching. But after a time of bitter weeping I said yes. Then the peace came. I honestly had no idea what my son’s medical prognosis was going to be, I just knew it was going to be for the best and that God would be glorified. And there was calm in the middle of my storm.
Steven was still away at college at this time and if you have sons, you know they are not the best as keeping Mom updated. So after I hadn’t heard from him in over a week, I called to asked about his walking ability. He nonchalantly reported that he hadn’t even thought about it in several days and he was walking normally. Wow. You can imagine the praise dance I did when I hung up the phone.
I hope this glimpse into one of my personal times of struggle is an encouragement to you. Like Hannah, you may be dealing with a great pain that life has brought you. Like me, you may be praying for your children and pouring out your heart to God. If that is the case, I can personally assure you that the God of Angel Armies is listening to you and is fighting for you. Trust Him to do what is best.
…call on me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you will honor me.
Psalm 50:15
Journaling Prompts 1. What do you need to surrender to God? If you surrendered it to Him, do you believe it would make a difference? Why or why not?
2. Read Matthew 26:39. What did Jesus experience in terms of surrendering to God? What was the last phrase He said in that verse. What does that phrase mean to you?
3. Write a prayer to God. Tell Him what is on your heart.